Experiment # 2.  Enjoy the Silence

April 22nd, 2000.

After Experiment # 1 (No Candy-Candy), I gave PLUR Fairey a while to recover. Made a few observations (which will be included in my General Candy Raver Behavior paper to be released at a later date), then continued experimentation.

As of yet, some type of electronic music (primarily Ambient) had been playing in PLUR Fairey's padded observation cell.  It was my hypothesis that without some type of electronic music playing that PLUR Fairey would die. But sometimes you have to kill a lab rat or two in the name of science, and I was willing to take that risk to help identify exactly what it is that makes Candy Ravers what they are.  After all, I need to dissect one eventually, right?  

The padded cell that PLUR Fairey resides in is a perfect 30' X 30' X 30' cube with 16 cabinets of TurboSound and a 60 watt YAG laser projector mounted on the ceiling.  PLUR Fairey has voiced on several occasions that it would love to be able to sit on these speakers if possible, but they are well out of it's reach to prevent this exact event from occurring.  

I love irony.  As I mix from the current ambient track over to Sasha & Digweed's “Enjoy the Silence” remix, I could see, no... I could feel the joy emitting from PLUR Fairey as it started jumping and bouncing around the cell.  It even covered up the lights in the room with several pairs of 110" fur Rainbow Brite Pants (I have no clue where they came from) so that it could snap a few industrial strength Glowstix to life and give itself “madD visuals, yo.”  It even attached strings to these Glowstix which seemed to amuse the Candy Raver for a few moments until I turned on the hi-powered Air Conditioning Fans and made PLUR Fairey beat itself into an entangled plastic-bracelet-phat-pants-Glowstick-string mess.  Once recovered, PLUR Fairey removed the strings from the Glowstix and commenced dancing, seemingly entranced by the hypnotic music.  

After about 10 minutes of various mixes of this track being played, I ended this song right after the lady in the song spoke "Enjoy the Silence".  PLUR Fairey, apparently still entranced, continued dancing for quite some time.

I return to the observation room to find PLUR Fairey still dancing.  It seems as if a Candy Raver doesn't even need music as an excuse to dance. The Glowstix were now glowing less than PLUR Fairey's bracelets, but it kept it's death-grip on them, regardless.  

Not wanting my subject to die of heat exhaustion (I'd rather lack of music to kill it), I bring PLUR Fairey a bottle of water which it quickly accepts and gives me a huge hug and a handful of Laffy Taffy's.  While accepting this hug, I notice something in PLUR Fairey's ears... EAR PLUGS!  PLUR Fairey hadn't been listening to the music all along.  Apparently PLUR Fairey can read lips as I tell it that my ears are hurting and I really could use some ear plugs.  PLUR Fairey instantly pulls the plugs out of it's ears and hands them to me (yeck!) while simultaneously realizing that the music is gone!  Frozen in place from shock, I quickly make my way out of the cell and lock the door.

I dispose of the used ear plugs, wash up, and return to the observation room.  PLUR Fairey is still frozen in place.  Luckily I can read it's vital signs and it appears as if it is merely in a state of unconsciousness.  Vital signs stable, I wait.  

Day 4:

Halfway into the day PLUR Fairey begins convulsing and breaks into seizures. Not much different from it's dancing two days earlier.  After several minutes of violent shaking, PLUR Fairey falls over and starts digging in it's backpack, emptying the contents as it searches.  10 red flashers, 6 burnt out Glowstix, 12 unused Glowstix, 8 dust masks, 3 whippets, 1 balloon, 5 stuffed animals, 3 bottles of VapoRub, 1 tube of VapoCream, 118 plastic bracelets/necklaces, 84 flyers, 3 vibrating massagers, 1 bottle of massage oil, 2 lighters, 16 candy necklaces, 22 blowpops, 10 packs of juicy fruit, 1 pack of big red, 1 box of breath mints, 1 box of baby wipes, 2 bottles of Hand Sanitizer, 1 hair brush, 3 empty bottles of water, 1 empty bottle of 5-htp, 2 oranges, 1 flashlight, 2 photon lights, 1 green laser, 2 gloves with red light finger tips, 5 pacifiers, and 1 container of Tiger Balm later... it finds the Vicks Vapor Inhalers.

Fallen on it's back, PLUR Fairey breathes solely through this small inhaler. After approximately 1 hour of this, it gets creative... One dust mask coated with VapoRub over PLUR Fairey 's face.  Underneath you will find three inhalers inserted into PLUR Fairey's mouth, and one in each nostril. Tiger Balm rubbed on it's face, underarms, and 'other' areas.  PLUR Fairey then heats a bottle of VapoRub until it liquefies and pours it directly into it's eyes!!!  PLUR Fairey starts shivering again and rubs all over it's entire body.

Day 5:

 It appears as if PLUR Fairey will be able to withstand the lack of music indefinitely in this state.  I go in the room and remove the Phat Pantz from the lights, and start a small fire so that the Vicks will be removed from it's body once the fire alarm goes off and the sprinklers start.

That's all for now, folks, I'll be releasing the results of further experiments next week.  A website will probably follow, as well.  Feel free to send comments, concerns, or  SUGGESTED EXPERIMENTS to clayton.smith@gunter.af.mil.