Okay everybody... if you didn't know, I kidnapped a Candy Raver at Progression Sessions in
I've had the Candy Raver for a little over 4 months and have conducted several experiments. I will be posting the results of these experiments over the next few weeks until my tests are complete and I release the Candy Raver. After release, I will move on to testing on a 'Junglist'.
I offered the Candy Raver (self-named "PLUR Fairey", sex unknown; I didn't ask) a ride home after Progression Sessions and it accepted with a huge hug,
three blowpops, and a bracelet. I told it we needed to stop by my house first and I'd let it listen to my white-label Oakenfold Records if it came along. It accepted, of course, and proceeded to tell me about how it first realized it was soul-mates with it's 8 closest friends when it first heard GameMaster on Oakie's Tranceport CD.
Upon reaching my house, I asked PLUR Fairey to step inside a padded observation cell I had made for it. PLUR Fairey seemed a bit nervous about this, so I threw a bag of Laffy Taffy in the room and told it to help itself and it went in immediately. Close door. Lock. Turn on camera and open curtains around the 1-way observation windows/mirrors.
Experiment Number 1:
No Candy-Candy
I entered the room with PLURFairey and told it to give me all it's Plastic Jewelry or I'd tell all it's friends that Bad Boy Bill had died. Jewelry obtained, I left the room, started some ambient beats for PLUR Fairey to listen too, and began observation.
PLUR Fairey looked very anxious for a while, rubbing it's hands together, banging head against the walls, and grinding it's teeth profusely. This continued for 30 hours until PLUR Fairey used heavy breathing and a Vicks inhaler to knock itself unconscious. This was the first time I saw PLUR Fairey sleep. Never before had I seen someone massage themselves while they slept. The tooth grinding continued throughout the sleep.
4 hours later, PLUR Fairey awoke and started spitting small bits of material. Upon zooming in with the cameras, I see that this was actually tooth enamel that had been broken off by the grinding of it's teeth. PLUR Fairey proceeded to use the Laffy-Taffy to die the enamel bright colors, then used string torn from the cell padding to make bracelets out of this tooth enamel! The Candy Raver was actually excreting Candy Bracelets!
Two days later, and 18 bracelets stronger, I returned all of PLUR Fairey 's jewelry and apologized for taking it's belongings and told PLUR Fairey that I couldn't release it at the moment due to some booking problems with an upcoming event.
That's all for now, folks, I'll be releasing the results of further experiments later today, or Monday. Feel free to send comments, concerns, or suggested experiments to clayton.smith@gunter.af.mil.
Upcoming experiments:
No music
No edible candy
Subliminal messages
Jungle music
Body part transplants
Starvation
Chinese Water Torture
Anti-PLUR propaganda